In case you were wondering, the reason the Capcom side is taking so long is because there are so many iconic characters it isn't even funny. PART TWO: CAPCOM OVERVIEW Ryu So you've got this badass fighter trained in the martial arts. By definition he's already a fucking pro, and has more skill and talent than any iconic SEGA character combined. Now add in that he can shoot fucking fireballs. What?! This motherfucker can launch fucking flaming balls of fucking fire and hurt you with it. On top of that, he defies fucking physics and is able to uppercut someone 6 feet into the air. And do a spinning kick in the air for several seconds while spinning around 3 times. Do you fucking understand the significance of that? 3 complete rotations. That's a 1080. Tony Hawk needed a fucking half-pipe, a skateboard, and a billion fucking tries to land a 900 safely. 2 and a half rotations. Half a rotation less than a fucking Asian guy who just decided, "I'm going to jump and spin from a prone position." Tony Hawk had velocity, momentum, and the cheering crowd of thousands at the X-Games on his side. Ryu has a best friend who dyed his hair blonde and memories of his (at the time) dead master. Man the fuck up, people. Ken Much of what was said about Ryu can be said about Ken, except for one major, badass difference. [youtube]PXtHqbywqZs[/youtube] Look at that fucking Shoryuken, people. Uppercut for the uninitiated. First off, look how much fucking air that guy gets. Imagine getting your shit fucked up by that. One of those shitlickers in your face and you're about 85% to finishing your Mickey Rourke costume. On top of that, he uppercuts you so hard you light on fucking fire. Think about that. The caveman came across fire on accident, and is highly considered to be one of the biggest inventions since, well, fucking life. And this Asian guy (yes, he's Asian) with bleach blonde hair skipped all the bullshit and went, "Fuck you, fire from my hands." If Ken Masters were around during the Stone Age, I'm sure he'd be revered as a God. I'm actually not entirely convinced that he WASN'T there during the Stone Age. Chun-Li Whereas the female characters of SEGA games are extremely sexist caricatures, CAPCOM females are empowered as shit. Chun-Li works for Interpol. AKA the World fuckin' Police. She can quite literally arrest anyone in the fucking world if she feels like they looked at her the wrong way. I mean, well, she COULD arrest you, but she could also beat the shit out of you. On top of also being able to shoot fucking energy shit from her fucking hands, Chun's signature move involves kicking her opponent. Multiple times. In a few seconds. See the following video of Chun-Li kicking the shit out of a character named Vanilla Ice: [youtube]rL7u_qFOYQE[/youtube] Now nobody in their right minds would ever ask to be subjected to such pain, which is why she's one of the most fearsome women on the planet. Imagine being in a RELATIONSHIP with that kinda woman. Holy shit. Dhalsim You know who he is. He's the stretchy guy that shoots fire out of his mouth. Because he's walking around with a mouthful of kerosene ALL THE FUCKING TIME. That's boss. What's also boss is the fact that Dhalsim's character is a pacifist. A PACIFIST. This guy who absolutely hates fighting can pimp-slap you 4 yards away. This guy who hates fighting makes it a routine to turn himself into a human fucking flamethrower and burn the shit out of anyone who stands in his way. And look at this fucking guy. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE SKULLS. Now I don't know the real story, but I'm going to tell you my take on it and pass it as the Gospel of fucking God. This pacifist kills his opponents and wears their fucking skulls around his neck. Because he hates fighting. Damn pacifists. Guile If you took the movie Top Gun, removed all the feminine bits (Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, volleyball, fighter jets and explosions) and replaced it with pure bicep, you would get Guile. He's a soldier that's so fucking overpowered he doesn't even carry his fucking gun around anymore. And why? Look at that shit, man. When Guile fucking FLEXES, waves of energy are released with the sole purpose of daring to ask the guy to flex. Fuck you Chuck Norris, but if Guile were to start using free weights in the gym, cities would be fucking leveled. I mean, all he's doing is FLEXING. He's flexing and fucking shit up. And what does he do when he's not flex-skullfucking the liver out of you? It takes a manly man to make a somersault look deadly. It takes a manlier man to do so in a fight. Multiple times. Next we have... Wait, what? I'm only doing Street Fighter you say? I was not aware. I'll jump over to some other titles then. Mega fucking Man Mega Man is, in fact, a boy that's so manly that you can't call him a boy anymore. This boy is actually a robot lab assistant placed reluctantly into the role of the hero. Did you hear that? This kid is a FUCKING LAB ASSISTANT. As in, the nerd you picked on at school every day. Armed with a small blaster. And he will fuck your shit up. The early Mega Man adventures were well-known for placing the blue robot against completely unreasonable odds. But did Mega Man bitch? No. He looks at your difficulties and laughs at them. Laughs at them with a lit cigar and an empty bottle of Chardonnay, because he chugged the shit out of it. He defeated an army bent on world domination. He did that and he only shot left and right. He never shot up, he never shot down. He had the balls to look his enemies in the eye before blasting the shit out of them. AND HE NEVER DUCKED. NOT EVEN ONCE. If it was too much to jump over, he took incoming fire head-on. Apply directly to the forehead. Head-on. Apply directly to the forehead. Head-on. Apply directly to the forehead. Head-on. Apply directly to the forehead. And that isn't even the best part. Certain enemies of his have amazing abilities. The ability to shoot giant fucking cleavers at you, the power to lift and throw boulders, flamethrower, etc. Once he defeated these pussy-ass bitches, he further taunted them by taking their weapon systems for himself. Now you have to imagine these bosses were pretty good friends. Imagine fighting this ballsy-as-fuck blue kid robot. Kid is brave. Then he starts using your friend's weapon. Now you know that this blue bomber killed your friend and is now using his weapon against you. THEN HE DEFEATS YOU and as you die, you realize that your weapon is the perfect weakness of another of your friends. Not only did he defeat you and kill you, but now you know that because of your failure, another of your friends is about to die. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL NOW?! Part Three coming soon. Because there are too many fucking characters in CAPCOM games that are badass. Namely, all of them.
Please refrain from making slave jokes, Minus. I enjoyed reading your first post, but that joke was in severely bad taste and could've been omitted from the post. Could offend some of our black members on here.
Now I keep thinking about a legit Capcom vs. Sega fighting game. The potential matchups are endless: Akuma vs. Ecco the Dolphin, Albert Wesker vs. Tails, Dr. Wily vs. Vectorman, and so on.