Darkness falls

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Adam, Apr 1, 2004.

  1. #1
    Adam

    Adam !!!! LPA Super Member

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    [Verse 1]
    Confound within my own lies
    No where to hide
    As the light fades out and darkness caves in
    My insanity will just let the plague kick in

    [Chorus]
    Don't lie to me
    Im already a crossbread with a damn disease
    I'M NOT FINE

    [verse 2]
    It sinks under your skin
    Only your fear can win
    Everyone you ever loved...
    Will fade away...
    Will stand and watch you blindly walk away...

    [Verse 3]
    NO ONE WILL JUST GIVE UP LIKE YOU
    EVERYONE HAS HAD A PROBLEM THEY PULLED THROUGH
    ONLY THE UNEXPECTIDED SURVIVE
    They hide in the shadows
    OF OTHER PEOPLES LIVES

    [Chorus]

    [Verse 4]
    You told me I was a prophet
    You told me I could stop it
    You made me sacrifice all I had
    You made me kill
    YOU KILLED ME AGAINST MY WILL
    I will seek revenge
    I will haunt you until the end

    [Chorus]

    [Verse 5]
    You turned me into your homemade machine
    Doin all ya dirty work
    Makin' sure your prints stayed clean
    I WAS A TOY TO YOU
    BUT I HAVE I RIGHT TO LIVE
    SO I MIGHT PLAY YOU TO
    SEE HOW YOU PULL THROUGH
     
  2. #2
    tkd_rap

    tkd_rap Banned

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    Honestly, I wish some one would do to me what I am about to too you[nobody ever responds in this D!@# forum!]. The song is ok at best, needs a little....flare, umm, dang it's hard for me to put my finger on it. It brings nothing new to the table, seems little juvenile, almost like you are trying to hard. Just ease up, don’t listen to any music for awhile, then you wont stumble into stealing stuff [not that you are], and you will be you, original and fresh, and when that killer idea hits! Take it and run with it...then come back a few days later, and criticize your own work, take a fresh look at it and see how you can make it better. My two best songs and 3 best poems [which I haven’t posted] have come from me doing that, I got the most praise for "Shattered Glass" on version 3, then I did for v2, because honestly, v2 sucked and I know it, but I re-worked it to be good.

    So try it out, take this same song and re-work it....right now 6/10.

    PS: i dont want to come off mean, sorry if i did...we need to critisize each other to see whats wrong, i wish like i said people on this forum would respond more
     
  3. #3
    Adam

    Adam !!!! LPA Super Member

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    Thanx


    I dont think your being meen ;)

    Your just tellin me how to improve ^_^
     

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