Time

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Linja, Dec 19, 2005.

  1. #1
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    I know, this isn't one of my best works. In fact, the only reason I penned it is because it was banging on my head, and refused to budge. Please comment, constructive criticism is welcomed.

    (Do I have to offer cookies?)

    ------

    Out Of Time

    ------

    Time is watching us all
    Time is waiting

    He sits there, in his silent corner, his back hunched
    Reading his book
    He does not have any other books, just the one
    He wrote it himself
    And Lady Luck comes over,
    They play poker every second Sunday of the month

    And she questions,
    Why he waits
    What he waits for

    But Time gives no answer
    Because curiosity killed the cat
    And even though Lady Luck is immortal
    You can never be too careful

    Lady Luck is persistent, she won’t take silence for an answer
    She asks for a challenge, if she is victorious, she will know
    Time knows better than to refuse
    Time knows all

    Lady Luck steps into a small room
    She sees, hears, feels
    Nothing

    Pictures begin to flick on the wall

    War
    Starvation
    Revolution
    Disease
    Love

    She is transfixed, mesmerized

    Devastation
    A control room
    A button

    Darkness

    Lady Luck has fled
    Lady Luck is out of time

    Destiny has arrived, for tea and biscuits
    She knows better than to ask
    Just the other week, the Sand Man disappeared

    Time is watching us all
    Time is waiting
    Only he knows what for
    That is his burden to bear
     
  2. #2
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    I really like it because it's kinda different from anything I've read on here. Good work :)
     
  3. #3
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    A little parts just seemed silly, because you didn't need them. Like the tea and biscuts part. Though overall I do like it very much.
     
  4. #4
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Much appreciated, thank you both.
     

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