I wrote a poem the other day and was wondering if it was any good. If you have any advice it would be much appreciated Omerta The conspiracy of silence, Of the darkened night, The house is is quiet, And the sky is bright. I'm looking and looking I cannot find where The place I belong Is somewhere out there. My eyes watch As the world moves on by, I can't stop it And I cannot ask why. I want to be a part Of the world outside, The blames on me I have no where to hide. A lost empire In a world of black, It's time to move on And there's no turning back.
My advice to you would be to use words that describe more instead of ordinary words. Try using a thesaurus. And also, your structure is pretty good, but I can't seem to find a theme to the poem..I don't think the words flow well with eachother. Example: That's just my take. Keep writing though, it's the only way to get better.
Thank you for the advice, I'll keep it in mind. The poem was just something I did one night to try and explain on paper how I've been feeling lately.