THE PLAGUE I look around, And see a plague that covers the earth I look around, And see the destructions it’s caused, I look around, And see what I really am, I look around, And see it’s so close to death This plague that destroys the earth, Is the smartest one yet, Nothing can kill it, For so little know it exists, But I know one day, It will finally die out, And only on that day, Can the earth be at peace. I look around, And see a plague that covers the earth I look around, And see the destructions it caused, I look around, And see what I really am, I look around, And see it’s close to death The plague I see consumes, But never gives back, It destroys everything, That comes into contact, The plague is so destructive, It even destroys itself. But one day it will die, When everything finally runs out. I look around, And see a plague that covers the earth I look around, And see the destructions it’s caused, I look around, And see what I really am, I look around, And see it’s close to death And even though I see it, I still can’t help, No one will believe me, Cause the truth can’t be handled, Cause the plague that destroys the earth, Is the human race, Consuming and destroying Nothing slowing its pace. I look around, And see a plague that covers the earth I look around, And see the destructions it caused, I look around, And see what I really am, I look around, And see it’s close to death, And when it’s finally dead, The Earth can be at peace.
In word if you want me to describe my comments it would be this word A-M-A-Z-I-N-G,believe me this poem rocks and what I liked most are the lines "The plague is so destructive, It even destroys itself." These lines are great, you are extremely talented and a gifted poet,the poem is really awesome,keep it up.
Great poem! I agree with ahamLP about those lines. you showed great creativity and a sense of awareness. gongrats!
Pretty good, but it's my opinion that it could have been a bit better. I lost your point after a while and the repetitiveness makes it feel a tad boring. IMO I think it would be best if you revised the poem a bit. Tweak it. The 'I look around's need to be lessened and possibly and you need to make your point more obvious. Is the plague something in our world that needs fixing? What is it? Follow those questions in your revision (that is...if you choose to revise it) and I think this poem could have great potential. Just a bit of constructive critisism... --Sato
thanks guys. most of my poems are a bit more like songs in the fact i like to have a chorus, tanks for the critisism. most people just say "oh its ok" and not tell u why. i apriciate that you give constructive criticism this was also my first go at a non rhyming poem so im glad you gus enjoyed it.
hey! you know you are very talented. In my opinion, poems dont always need rhymes to be powerful. Just like yours. You did a great job.
thanks. I myself life the repetative ness but thats because like most of my poems i hear them to a tune in my head. but how's this edited version I look around, And see a plague that covers the earth I turn around in a circle, And see the destructions it’s caused, I look inbetween my legs, And see what I really am, I close my eyes, And somehow i can still see it’s so close to death LOL