Stranger Beside. Can you feel that somebody beside you all the while? It’s there amongst the crowd, much closer than a mile. And at every mistake, it sinks in deeper in search for an essence, Sailing to your mind, you can feel its very presence. It is a feeling of dread when you commit to an error, It’s the image staring back at you from your broken mirror. At times it disguises itself as hope for petty consolation, Later plays with your heart, blame it for the abrasions. Why is there no life in this abandoned myth? Should one call it a curse or a lying disheartening gift? Even when you are alone, its presence is a dismay, Why can’t it just leave you and seem to go away? It sticks on to you, when you need to be left unaided, You can feel it in your veins, can it be more hated? You try to scratch it of, but all seems to end in vain, It’s the reason for your plight; it’s the reason for your pain. You can never miss it ‘cause it never lets you be, It picks on you in moments of your heartbreaking privacy. But fatal is losing this being to yourself, Eventually you’ll know that nobody even cares to help. So let the creature dig deeper in and feed upon what’s true, It’ll be the only one who’ll stay and remain true to you. i think that this piece of work was extremely aweful :wth: , but i posted it anyway.
i don't think it's bad! it's not your best work but you have been writing stuff that's so good these days! it took me a bit to get into it, maybe because it was longer but the imagery in it was really good. it's a good concept and i can idenitfy with it...so it can't be bad! don't put you work down cause it's all about learning from it. thats what the good people at LPA have told me!
thanks a lot!!... a very lot... well today, at school, i was hit by this amazing title called "Vessel of Blood"...i'm gonna work on it real hard and make it a good song...looking forward to post it here!