Beautiful One

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by a life in ashes, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. #1
    a life in ashes

    a life in ashes mercury summer

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    Beautiful One

    Look into my eyes,
    Fall with me tonight,
    Look for me and I'll find you,
    Fall into my arms tonight,

    Feel my gentle touch,
    Kiss away the pain tonight,
    Feel my love for you,
    Kiss me beside the candlelight tonight,

    Beautiful one,
    You are my rose,
    Beautiful one,
    You are the reason I exist,
    Beautiful one,

    Saved by my love,
    You are loved forever,
    Saved by your touch,
    You are the one forever,

    Beautiful undying rose,
    You shine for me forever,
    Beautiful please believe me,
    You stop my descent forever,

    Beautiful one,
    You are my rose,
    Beautiful one,
    You are the reason I exist,
    Beautiful one,

    I'll stand here and wait for you,
    I'll drown till I see you.


    Reviews please...
     
  2. #2
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    frankly, the flow wasn't all that good, but some words that you've chosen and placed make it a good few parts.... some modification could take it away a great deal! ;)
     
  3. #3
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    i thought it wasn't too bad.

    it's a really sweet poem and i thought these lines were beautiful...

     

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