I am bored so heres something new. Around goes the world An old man once told me a fable Stories of fame and gold People of different labels Trouble in rocky countries Dirty faces wanting There is more to this tale An earth shattering male Destroying life for a girl War for love Something she did not want Love for War Something she could not pretend Within this tell there was a bell A ring to bring peace If battle collected over a field All men shall fell B)
It could have been good, but the poem felt very confused and a bit everywhere, a more organized re-write could turn this into a great poem, at the moment, it's only o.k.
it's ok. you should stick to rap. your rap's good and you try to imply such lines to poetry that don't really suit a formal or semi formal note. it's a 5/10