A Way With Words

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Darcy, Dec 14, 2005.

  1. #1
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Yeah, I like constructive critisizm. So tell me what you like/don't like, and I won't be offended about anything.

    Here it is:

    You're the one with the Polaroid smile
    I know I could bring it down for awhile
    I've always had a way with words
    That made you wonder what I said them for
    Gray-blue reminds me of you
    A carbon copy of the look I knew
    I'll always know you as the frozen face
    In the picture with the broken frame

    Chorus:
    But you're just another body
    On the silver screen
    And all those lines you said for cameras
    Well they should have been for me

    You're the one with the Kodachrome face
    The negatives of which I can't erase
    A memory is worth a thousand words
    The pictures hold the ones I haven't heard
    I'm the sketch on the back of the page
    The substitute for a better face
    My shades of gray are there to fill the gap
    Or make you wonder what you're looking at

    Chorus:
    But you're just another body
    On the silver screen
    And all those lines you said for cameras
    Well they should have been for me

    But don't give me those excuses
    You can't sway me with revenge
    I would only just abuse it
    This I'll carry 'till the end


    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. #2
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    I liked it. Sorry I can't point out what was good and bad, the whole thing was good. Great job.
     
  3. #3
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Thanks :)
     
  4. #4
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    *applaud*
    great job, keet it up!
     
  5. #5
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Getchoo writes? *to publicist* WHY WASN'T I TOLD THIS? :lol: Beautiful work, sweetie. It flows very well.
     
  6. #6
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    Some felt forced, but it's a good concept.
     
  7. #7
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Thanks everyone!

    Heshboy: Yeah, I agree. I'm gonna try to fix that eventually. Too lazy right now. :p
     
  8. #8
    Snail

    Snail LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Good stuff, I liked it haha =] keep it up
     
  9. #9
    Darcy

    Darcy LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    :) Thanks a bunch.
     

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