Heart Of Destruction Coming into this world in the beginning I grew up on the opposite side of winning Grasping for direction of something further All I found was vast disappointment poised in color The more that I wanted The more I was haunted Shunted by your words of elaborate destruction My world fell apart leaving me corrupted Crushing Me in (What do I have left) I was created thin You took away the joy that life begins (What do I have left) All I wanted was the bright light within I opened up this book in my head And learned of the death planned for me at the end I wish I would have chose the right path She gave me motivation to ascend To rid myself of this adolescent trend The more that I wanted The more I was haunted Shunted by your words of elaborate destruction My world fell apart leaving me corrupted Crushing Me in (What do I have left) I was created thin You took away the joy that life begins (What do I have left) All I wanted was the bright light within You tore my heart apart Swollen insides ready to burst Aching all over from all the hurt But nothing pains me worst than this curse You tore my heart apart Swollen insides ready to burst Aching all over from all the hurt But nothing pains me worst than this curse (echoes) than this curse… Crushing Me in (What do I have left) I was created thin You took away the joy that life begins (What do I have left) All I wanted was the bright light within ------------------------ Now this is something I just put together. I feel it could be big, but that's just me. With some polish it can be huge. What happens to all these people who have nothing Broke on the road, dirty dying in that once green grove Laying with nothing left in their pockets stuck broke Hand me down cloths hot for that’s all they know Ashy waiting for some lo Skin pealing in dust that was covered last week in rust They’re straight out of luck while we eat not giving fuck Here’s a cover story just for you/We got some issues Not even stopping to help send some tissues That tells you how messed up we are Too stubborn, and selfish driving in our fancy cars Thinking about ourselves while drinking at the bars But what do we have just to live large Stuck in our own heart just like that Banking on money on NASDAQ we don’t give back We don’t give a shit But they drink piss While we’re drowned in all this glamorous grit Eating diseased meat now they’re dead on the street Waiting for their heart beat to just give-up in defeat Thinking this wont happen to us It won’t happen to me I must be crazy to ever think like this Not caring about the babies Crying about who died lately This does amaze me that I thought it can’t be But now I can see all this is actually happening Do you feel great about this? Does it make you think a little bit? Cause it makes me feel more for life than ever did
#1 Some of it is good, but other line's are horribly forced IMO. #2 Definately better. I don't get your last line though, what is it saying? Good story-telling style (reminds me of a rap song). Good job.