Pain kept and passed on: My hollow chest consisting of broken ribs The words swallowed behind my trembling lips Wounded not only on the outside, where I hurt My exterior, the reflection of my interior filled with dirt Thoughts lost on their way from my mind Lost their way as I too have lost mine Feast on the flesh of our innocent thoughts Give in to the darkness your insanity has brought Somewhere, somewhere I'm caught inside Somehow, somehow i can't find a place to hide I'm so impure, I'm so impure, so rotten and cold I'm so impure, I'm so impure, watch our insanity unfold I won't waste my thoughts on you, not once Don't want to give in to you, your elegance But I've shared my pain with you for far to long Your pain surpasses mine, the pain put into your song The sounds penetrating my every thought Your pain's driven so deep it got both of us lost Feast on the flesh of our innocent thoughts Give in to the darkness your insanity has brought Somewhere, somewhere I'm caught inside Somehow, somehow i can't find a place to hide I'm so impure, I'm so impure, so rotten and cold I'm so impure, I'm so impure, watch our insanity unfold Now we've split ways in hope of finding a cure I thought it would get better, I was so sure But now we're hopeless as ever, all alone The pain begins to grow, can't handle it on our own Eventhough we're seperated I can still hear your song I feel you inside me, your pain you've passed on Your pain you've passed on... Thoughts please....this one's really killing me :sad:
I really like it. One thing though, you might want to switch the word "insane" to "insanity" because, as it is, it doesn't make much sense. Outside of that though (and the fact that "fiest" is spelt "feast" if you mean dine or eat), great piece. Quite emotional.
damnit I just can't write something without a few grammar/spelling problems ....well....thanx esaul...I'll edit it to change the mistakes