Please comment. ------------------------------------------------------------------ When the boogymen come out: Why can't you wage war, when there's no-one else around? Every shot feels worse, when you know: It's the wrong corpses plastering the battlegrounds You know their demons scream at night, when the boogymen come out their demons scream, when the boogymen come out Everytime you raise a fist, you're sinking a thousand innocent ships Can you feel them? Their bloodshot eyes They're watching you, when your bombs hit You know their demons scream at night, when the boogymen come out their demons scream, when the boogymen come out Please, don't do this to me! Can't you see? I'm stuck in this, where I don't belong Please, don't do this to me! You know my demons scream at night, when the boogymen come out my demons scream, when the boogymen come out
No harsh intent, but I didn't really feel this one... The rhymes seemed a touch forced and imperfect, and I just didn't like the "chorus". Keep writing though!