Mistake

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by ahamLP, Apr 6, 2005.

  1. #1
    ahamLP

    ahamLP Well-Known Member

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    Another poem,an older one of the stuff that I've written and this one is a rhyme free poem :) ,so hope you understand it and like it.


    Mistake


    Every time I committed a mistake
    you laughed at me wildly
    as if I had told a joke
    I was crazy that I laughed with you


    I don't know if I did it purposely
    but I never knew what was your purpose
    you patted me on my back
    but I never knew you would stab me


    I never knew you were so mean
    you were with me in my difficult times
    but I never knew that you were sitting on my back
    but in your difficult times you dragged me with you


    I don't blame you
    'coz I am the one at fault
    I created this problem and let it grow
    but I had never thought you would grow so big
     
  2. #2
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Pretty good. i feel that it needs one more verse to close it up but this is just my opinion.

    This line ROCKS man. i love it. a good job. KEEP WRITING
     
  3. #3
    MeLiS_

    MeLiS_ Well-Known Member

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    yea it's pretty good.. :)
     
  4. #4
    Il inno di morte

    Il inno di morte A noi si schiude il ciel...

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    Well done! you truly are full of surprises. you dont always write about the same thing, and that's something I really like. I must say i just love your style. you are really deep and you dont need to rhyme to make your poems sound good and be as powerful as they are now. I really liked this one. Sounds good and i kind of feel identified...
    Well, as i've said before, you are a very talented writer, please dont u stop writing, i hope to see more of your stuff around. awesome poem man! (w00t)
     

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