Good work, the only thing is you seem to focus alot on the drug idea, so mabye using it in the title would be more suitable, because i feel like...
I didn't mind the long lines at all and got right into the song. I agree the piece on a whole might use some tightening, but it is really good....
If your comming back then how come this is your first post hmmm :hmm: that confuses me. Anyway, welcome back, have more fun. B)
meh, wasn't that funny. And it is in the wrong forum, please check where you are posting next time.
Ok, that was still very disturbing. Anyway, trust the U.S. to create a law like this, lucky i don't live there. "All porn is child's porn,...
Well this is a very short poem as i wrote it and then it didn't fit with the rest of my new poem i'm writting, but i quite like it so i thought...
Thanks everyone for your comments, i'm glad alot of people seemed to really like it. I think the second ending is better as it ties into the start...
Nice work Will, i don't see you post here much but when you do i know i'm going to be reading something great. Hope to see you writing more often....
This was just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G !!!! I believe this is one of your best poems ever, i just loved it, you are such a talented writer. Keep it up.
Different to how you usually write but i still liked it. I can't see much you can do to make it better either, just accept that it is not one of...
What legends. Well i must enjoy my ears getting raped. :o :lol:
It would be helpful to know what software you are using, but if you wanted to do it extremely simply you could have the movie playing to take up...
Thankyou everyone, I'm glad that everyone seemed to really like it. It is hard to think of something original but i'm glad i was able to this...
I also liked where you were going with this and definitely agree that you need to have a longer chorus, i believe with a bit of work this could br...
Thank you all for your comments, they are much appriciated. I have just updated my last verse and would love to hear what you think of it, whether...
I found it quite good, but i dissliked the repetativeness of it. The three verses which didn't repeat the same line over and over again were just...
This also brought a tear to my eye. Only one word Describes this piece: "Beautiful" This poem really reaches out to me, and can envoke emotions,...
I must agree with fallenangel that this is one of your best. It is just absolutetly fantastic, one of those poems you can only write once ever so...
Fairly good, had great structure and none of the rhyming felt forced. This verse is my favourite part of the song. Good job, hope to see you...
I have to agree with you on the last verse, i wrote it at about mid night because i wanted to finish the poem and post it so i could get some...