Please do comment ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Better isn't perfect: You make me feel better than I ever have before And then just a few seconds later You stomp me and my feelings to the floor You make me see how love has me tied up When you neglect me for others and I just choke words that have been boiling up I may not be perfect But I'm far passed 'better than you'll ever be' When I smile and say no Just to turn from the people I've been dying to see And now: I will make you see how it feels to be left alone All in hope that the rule apllies: You don't know what you have until it's gone I may not be perfect But I'm far passed 'better than you'll ever be' When I smile and say no Just to turn from the people I've been dying to see I'm dying... Dying to let go of you Dying to be free of you Dying to swallow those feelings for you Dying to regain what you forced me to lose I will find myself and keep me to myself!
frankly, it sounded overall sort of cliche. but i like the form of the poem. this is my obvious fav : I may not be perfect But I'm far passed 'better than you'll ever be' When I smile and say no Just to turn from the people I've been dying to see. next time, use extravagance in emotion. i'm not telling i'm great, but i know, with the little story behind this poem, that you can do great. it's a very neat piece and i appreciate it for that.