Alot of people may find this poem strange, as it seems very disjointed. Fire burns, All our throats, While cold chills, Every heart. Confusion and hysteria, Where is our master? Lose yourself, In your own home. Violent rage, With no origin, Find the soul, In a ruthless machine. Find the master, In a house of mirrors, See with eyes, That belong to the blind. No clear thought, Don’t understand, Ignorance is death, The human race is doomed. Master’s control, Destroy yourself, You’re just amusement, There is no point. Die in vain, Or in glory, What’s the difference? Everyone forgets. Memories are fragile, Made to be broken, Easy access, For the master's thoughts. See black swirls, In the back of your mind, Mistake them for God, Worship it daily. Crumble where you stand, Time doesn’t exist You’re life is only a blink, In the master's eye. Confusion, hysteria, Mistake it for wisdom, You don’t know, Just give up. Worship your God, Ignorance is bliss, Mistake the truth, For lies and tricks. Run though life, Though you are blind, Confusion rules, You can’t even see it. Walk through the smog, The master has created, The truth is hidden, Right in front of our face. Look for the meaning, When you already know it, Try and find something more, Than pointless mind games. You’re wasting your time, The blind searching with their eyes, You’re a puppet nothing more, In the smog of our masters bane. _____________________________________________ This poem is quite confusing but i hope some people will be able to make sense out of it. I thought i might explain it a bit. This poem represents the confusion of the human race, and how blind we are. It also suggests we are controled by a higher being and that life has no meaning, it is just one big game. Now it is written in a very disjointed form to represent the confusion of humanity and how we can't think or understand fully. Well i hope that makes some sense.
I really like this. But --> Lose, not loose. And in one of the lines you wrote 'masters thoughts', not 'master's'. *hides* Don't hate me.
how much do you score in Grammar anyway, Mali? DAVID: i felt the confusion you wanted to make was a deliberate move coming through your poem..which i should say is good. you know what your poem wants to do to the readers and it does what you want it to. that indicates your control over what you write. i feel you've concenterated more on this, that is trying to make the confused feel come alive and the whole matter and reasoning, which gives the whole poem a little less poetic and more prose feel. but great great great job, none the less. keep it up!