I'm trying to write a song with this peace of lyrics...

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by heshboy, Dec 2, 2005.

  1. #1
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    But I need a hook, and I want to know what you think about what's already written.
    Thank You


    I'm glowing bright like a glow stick in the deepest darkness of the pain
    Rain dropping harder than Thors hammer on my brain
    Everything still seems the same
    Put Ground Zero beneath the waves
    I've tried so hard to make it this far, but in the end it all falls apart
    Collapsing to the floor/ breaking like a pickle jar
    My jaw always seems to be so far away from my brain
    Laying down on the floor, drained only to feel ashamed
    I woke up today laying the same way I always do with you/with my life starting the same way it could do with you
    All the phrases that speak inside my mind begins to cry
    I try to put the hidden aside, but then my brain begins to fry
    I try secretly hide them far away just to buy my life some time
    But the same people who created me, makes all the pain collide
    Making it just so hard to look back on, I try to flee the scene at last
    If only I could look forward/Towards what the future has
    Creating inside of me only what my eyes can see
    I’m Caught in the struggle of watching you juggle your thoughts of me
    Thrown around I'm tangled in the cords you found
    Torn and struggling to break free of the broken thorns
    If you strike me down again, I might bleed out of things to say
    Hurting me so much within, the pain begins stay to unleash again
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2005
  2. #2
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

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    a bit forced...just a bit. it ended well. i'd give it a 6.7/10
     
  3. #3
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    I commented on this at gamefaqs.
     
  4. #4
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    ^ I've seen :)
     

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