Love me senseless (Comments please/Cheesy title...I know)

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Seinfeld, Jul 28, 2007.

  1. #1
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2006
    Messages:
    3,653
    Likes Received:
    4



    Please comment

    (Just so you don't get the wrong idea: it's not about sex or any kind of relationship...it's about a mother acting like she really cares. I'm just gonna say that much)

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    Love me senseless:

    I can't seem to be rid of this headache,
    (that is you)
    Another nightmare, that just can't be true


    I'd love to get some peace and quiet
    (Without you)
    acting like you ever really tried


    Are you coming closer
    or are you keeping your distance?
    I can't tell anymore
    I guess you've loved me senseless


    Somewhere beneath the covers I'm hiding
    (from you)
    Try to ignore the child inside, crying


    The covers aren't stained, yet I'm bleeding
    (It's just you)
    and the lies, on which I've been feeding


    Are you coming closer
    or are you keeping your distance?
    I can't tell anymore
    I guess you've loved me senseless


    Hey, you!
    Cut the crap!
    I'm done dealing with
    head-on attacks!

    Hey, you!
    Cut the crap!
    I'm on my own two feet
    Try to nurture that!​
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2007
  2. #2
    Arhaz

    Arhaz ...waiting. LPA Super Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,068
    Likes Received:
    27



    it's a bit bolty in places. but got a nice rhythm. choice of words are pretty good. credit for writing a good piece without too much complication.
     

Share This Page