Well I re-wrote it, hopefully you guys think it is alittle bit better now... ONCE DREAMT GONE Written By: Tony Hinz [Intro: Talking] If you could be anything you wanted to be, what would it be?... Happy [Verse: Singing] Looking at the walls, stained by blood Should I end it all or start it all over again Been hated, jaded, all this #### is overrated (I’m lost thrown in the ever going wind) [B-Section: Screaming] What he once dreamt is gone… [Chorus: Singing] If you don’t mind, the time is right Time for me to give up, fall on my knees And end it all, leaving nothing behind [Verse: Singing] #### you and all that you have So what if you have something And I have nothing (I’m done with this, #### this, give me the knife) [B-Section: Screaming] What he once dreamt is gone… [Chorus: Singing] If you don’t mind, the time is right Time for me to give up, fall on my knees And end it all, leaving nothing behind [Bridge: Rapping] Tapping my foot Over lapping my emotions (Once again) Look at me I’m alone Searching for a home… (2x) [B-Section: Screaming] What he once dreamt is gone… [Chorus: Singing] If you don’t mind, the time is right Time for me to give up, fall on my knees And end it all, leaving nothing behind [Outro: Talking] Are you happy?
That's a sad song. I think you should make the rapping rhyme a little bit if not all of it. Great job! Keep up the good work!