Truth Amongst Lies

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by esaul17, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. #1
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    I realize this is cliche and pretty crappy, with no flow or rythem. I wanted to try it out though, so comment please.

    Truth Amongst Lies

    I love you
    Cliché words that have been recycled until all meaning has been milked out of them
    And as the meaning fades, the pain rushes in
    Hatred for myself, hatred for others, hatred for everything
    Everything but you
    I try to forget about you but only forget myself
    Lost in your eyes, the pain is melted down
    Trapped in your gaze as this liquid enters my veins
    Boiling my blood and setting my heart on fire
    You look away and my heart collapses under its own weight
    Nothing left to hold it up, the ashes are tossed around my mind
    Sprinkling pathetic wishes on every thought, ash-white snow settles in every crevice
    And the pain is cooled, frozen, solidified
    Trapping my thoughts in a numbing stasis
    An emotional paralysis, I can’t pull away from you
    When everything goes more wrong than I could ever imagine
    When the memory of hope is but a burnt out star concealed behind a veil of clouds greyer than the world
    When an eternity of cold, lifeless nothingness is favourable to waking up in the morning
    The thought of you drags me so far down I fall through the roof
    I keep crashing down but at least I’m moving
    And even if the pain hurts at least I can feel it
    Slice me open with your smile because it makes me feel real
    Cut me away from all of the superficial bullshit that surrounds me
    Away from all the judgements and the stereotypes and the lies
    Lift me above it all, just to drop me back in
    Kill me with your brutal honesty
    Watch me fall to pieces in your shadow
    Step away and let the sun peel the flesh from my bones
    Leave me as a pile of dust to be tossed around by the wind
    I hate you
    If only it were true


    http://esaul17.sitesled.com/I love you.htm
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2005
  2. #2
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    It's not crappy. A poem doesn't necessarily need rhythm to flourish, and this one is no different. You have a very beautiful way with words.
     

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