Hey everybody. I just need to say this. It may just be all in my head. I think that I am depressed I think about suicide a lot and I feel sad all the time. I tell my mom that I am depressed and that I need zoloft. She says that I am not depressed but when I was at my grandma's she asked what have I been up to I told her nothing because my life was boring and she said are you depressed and I said yeah. She said that'll get you. I mean unless my grandma was just asking she might of seen it. I don't know. One of my older brothers his name is Mert and he's 39 and he lives with us and he is almost all the time rude to me and one time when he was on the internet I picked up the phone and I didn't know he was online and then I heard the internet thingy and I hung up. He asked who picked up the phone and my mom was like Susan. He's like you little a$$hole I was talking to somebody on the coast and we just got into this huge fight. Then another time I wanted to use the phone and I called one of my friends and he came into my moms room thats where I was and it was just him and me here and hes like if youre just going to bullshit then get off becuase i was talking to (this one dude i forgot his name) and hes long distance (or whatever) and so i had to get off the phone. Then this other time I forgot what I did but Mert just started yelling at me and he called me a little ####### and I couldnt take it anymore. I just started crying and i went into my room and i started to listen to meteora on my portable cd player and i was laying in my bed crying and then my mom came in and shes like i know why youre crying. and I was like why? she said youre just pmsing! I was thinking okay whatever i just couldnt take it. I wasnt pmsing though I didnt even start my period until like almost 2 weeks later so i know i wasnt pmsing. but anyways i dont know maybe its just all in my head. i mean i am a spoiled rotten person. my mom has always and still does get me whatever i want usually whenever i want but since we are now poor she cant but i also have grown up so im not as bad as when i was younger but my friend tabitha she says that she is depressed and she said that she wishes that she could be as easily amused as i am and always happy but im not and i told my other friend amanda i told her that i was depressed and suicidal and shes like no your not if you were youd be dead already but i dont know maybe its all in my head i dont know. i mean i dont like being depressed and like i get angry a LOT easier then when i used to and i always wish that mert will die and i almost all the time wish i had a gun so i could either kill him or myself.....maybe i have some seriouse issues or maybe its just all in my head or whatever but ::sigh:: i dont know what to think....my life is boring and depressing as hell and i wish i had a life.....life is just slowly going to drive me insane i know it is.... I JUST WANT OUT!!!! I WISH ITD ALL JUST GO AWAY!!! Also i said one time that i wish i had a new life and merts like why susan youd just #### up your new life and then a little minute or whatever later hes like anybody would.... and papercut that song is so mine "because im one step closer to the edge and im about to break" Maybe I'm just stupid and maybe it's just all in my head. I'd rather be depressed then crazy...I'm confused and I have these mixed emotions. :wth:
You mean "One Step Closer." Look, dude, I've been through a lot of sh*t too. Try 10 girls who dumped you for all the wrong reasons: Cheating Using you Going out with you out of pity Playing with you I've been through a lot of sh*t...lots of us have and lots of us are still going through crap. Trust me, everyone has their down part of life and right now you're having yours. It'll be over someday, I promise. The thing is, you can't sit around and hope it'll get better. Do something! See a movie with friends, go to parties and meet boys, go to a concert (LP maybe?), go bowling, ride a bike, read a book, play video games, go to a skating ring...dude! Make the most of life because anyday in any instance, something could happen to kill us. Don't take life for granted as I have many times in life. I'm really sorry things aren't going your way...but we all gotta through crap. Cheer up, dude. Let it all out though...never keep feelings like anger and sadness bottled in as you start to get ideas like suicide.
Not to sound mean, but I'm in no mood to read that, but as I skimmed, I see you're going through some depressing times. The one thing I stress on you, is that suicide is not an answer. I've been there and to that point before and it's not worth it. I mean... Even if you may not be the most fourtunate person in the world, your life should be your own little treasure no matter how bad it is. I'm no rich person either--My parents are also misunderstanding about how I feel as well. I get angry easily, I get depressed a lot, it's a way of life for most teens (which I'm assuming you are). Sometimes life is harsh on you, but I'm sure you have something to look foreward to in your life. I just stress you not kill yourself or hurt yourself to a point of regret. Just be glad to be alive .
I get depressed and think about suicide alot, but i pull myself over it cuz i know its the easy way out. Ive got a lot of problems with myself, mentally and physically, but i push on for the sake of better times, u cant tell me ur life has been #### every day of ur life. no. u have to have had good times, but yeah theres bad times, but when u move out when ur older, it will be ur life, u make the good and u avoid the bad, and when ur brother shouts at u, tell him to shut the f**k up. sorry about ur problems and i hope that u dont commit suicide, its for the best
dude, everybody has tough times. Sometimes times are seriously tough. Judging by your post, times are especially shitty right now.....But they'll get better, I promise. No kidding. If your older brother continues to act like a little ####, maybe it's because he's having some tough times himself. No excuse, you should definitely talk to your parents about that because a grown guy shouldn't pick on his little sister like that but it seems like maybe he feels like crap himself... Nobody's always happy, I mean I'm never happy. I constantly put myself down and I hate how I look. But I don't let the demons get to me, because otherwise I'm a total wreck and my friends don't really know what to do either. Instead, I write down how I feel or maybe do some art to reflect how I'm feeling. It doesn't make it go away, but sometimes writing stuff down or drawing can really help you let your feelings out - and you gotta let the feelings out before you can heal, hey? And about suicide, not only is it not worth it and completely not the answer - you hurt everyone around you. My friends' older brother commited suicide, and I don't think they'll ever be the same. Quite frankly, it's a selfish thing to do. If you give in, nobody wins and even when your gone and don't have to worry about the consequences, it'll crush your family. Anyways, I honestly believe if those girls' brother had been given the choice again, he would have taken another route. Anyways, hang in there and if you ever want to talk more let us know.
I can't really say too much right now, but there is one thing you have to remember and that is: You're not alone Many people have been through things like this and have come out stronger on the other side. The best thing for you to do is just to try to control how you feel. Talk to someone like your grandma about it. Talk to other people about it. Find some way of expressing how you feel. You should never think about suicide. It might be hard not to, I know, but it's just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't let yourself go like that. As for the trouble with your brother. Just try talking to him. You might find it hard because of his age and all, but there's no harm in trying. And never forget, all of us on the board are here for you. We'll help you whenever you want us to. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about any of it Good luck --Katrina
A couple of days ago, my friend committed suicide. She was going through the same as you. Its not a good thing to do. Don’t ever consider doing that. You may not think this, but a lot of people will care about you. It will be very hard for them if you did do that. It doesnt solve anything, so just get that thought out of your head. Try talking to your mum about it.. if she doesnt listen, keep annoying her until she realises how you really feel. Even try talking to your brother about how much it hurts you with him treating you like that. If you cant talk to them about it, try talking to friends or someone else like your grandma that can help you. Dont keep it all bottled up inside, I do that a lot but one day I told someone and it made me feel a lot better. Go out, have fun with friends. It will take your mind off a lot of things and make you feel a lot better. Just try getting out of the house a lot. It helps. Good luck with everything, just try not to think about suicide. If you want to talk to me anymore about anything, just IM me. Look at my profile.